


Butt Tattoos

by smollettuce



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: AU, Awkwardness, Drunkenness, Fluff, Hangover, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Morning After, Tattoos, lawyer dan, youtuber Phil
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-11
Updated: 2016-06-11
Packaged: 2018-07-14 12:07:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,272
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7170443
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/smollettuce/pseuds/smollettuce
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>'Last night we had a one night stand but before we drunkenly got each other’s names tattooed on each other’s butt cheeks so now its kind of hard to forget you’ au</p>
            </blockquote>





	Butt Tattoos

Dan woke up to a throbbing headache and feeling of a storm brewing in his stomach - the all too familiar feeling of a hangover. He blindly reached at his right trying to find is phone on his messy nightstand, after what felt like way to much effort he realised that the small chair that served as a table wasn’t there. He was immediately confused and tried to make sense of the lack of recollection from last night’s events. When Dan sat up in bed and tried to focus his hazy vision he felt a sharp sting on his left butt cheek; confused he decided to ignore it. Finally, with some regained vision he looked down at the obnoxiously bright, and completely foreign, green and blue duvet cover. He looked under, and yes he was obviously naked, and he had obviously indulged in yet another one night stand. He looked over to his side to find a body lying back to him, he notice the black hair and the contrast to the boys pale back. He sighed and decided he was not yet ready to face the world trying to go home, he flopped back into the pillow and instantly fell asleep.

•••

Waking up with light in his face was one of Phil’s least favourite things. Specially when pair with the lovely gift of a hangover. He groaned out loud but was glad to find himself in his own bed, and familiar colourful room. His eyes were painfully dry - of course his drunk self wouldn’t even think about taking the contacts off. When Phil stood up he winced at the headache and had to focus to not let his last nigh dinner fly out there and now. He also felt a stinging sensation in his bottom side, curious and slightly confused he reached to - to his surprise - what felt like cling film. That’s when he jumped at the loud snore coming from behind him. Phil jumped on his tracks turning around immediately to find a boy that couldn’t be older than 24. Completely forgotten about the mysterious material in his butt cheek, Phil focused on remembering what exactly had happened last night. Slowly but surely he started to remember approaching the same beautiful boy, now lying down sound a sleep on his bed

○○○

It was another Saturday night, and Phil found himself yet again lonely and stressed with the everyday pressure of routine. It had become habit for the last few months that Phil would go out to a pub or bar, get a few drinks in him and start looking for some beautiful people who might be interested in turning life a little less boring too. Since Phil had left uni a couple years back he found himself often lonely or bored - even with a job as amazing as his. Hell, he didn’t even consider it a job - he was lucky enough to make a living out of posting videos online, he had amazing opportunities all the time like going to America every year for conventions or doing crazy shows with amazing production teams like at the BBC. But even with the best job, recognition and stable finances; people still need people, and human contact was something Phil craved. Somehow he decided that one night stands were his best bet.

This night wasn’t any different. Phil headed to his favourite pub and as soon as he ordered his drink of choice he started looking around for someone who wasn’t, one yet drunk out of their mind and two reasonably attractive. He spotted a guy hunched over the bar in what looked like suit and tie attire. He carefully got closer to examine the guy’s features, he looked young, younger than Phil. Phil always felt a bit bad for people who had to dress fancy for work everyday, at least he assume that’s why the boy had a suit. He noticed the boy was extremely pretty up closed and his hair was arranged in a fringe similar to his slightly curled at the ends. His eyes were closed as he held the cup of whatever he was drinking for dear life. He seemed stressed - Phil thought - and considering he had to wear a suit for his job Phil wasn’t blaming him.

Phil decided to take a seat next to him, not yet saying anything. Phil had learned by trail and error that he needed to be more careful when approaching males, since some that weren’t attracted to men seem to think someone who found them attractive enough to want to approach them with the intentions Phil always made more than clear , was the most offensive thing in this universe and it’s been more times than Phil cares to admit he has had to dodge drunken punches from drunk man trying to protect their so said ‘masculinity’. But Phil was confident enough that this sweet looking boy would go for the saying no route opposed to the punching on.

  
“Hey there you look stressed beautiful” he said most of his confidence coming only from the alcohol he had already ingested.

  
“Well maybe because being a lawyer sucks” The boy responded not looking up, in an almost bitter tone. Phil found himself slightly taken aback by his brutal honesty, yet he appreciated it.

  
“Well my name is Phil, you are?”

  
“Are you hitting on me, Phil?” The boy’s tone changed a smirk was plastered in his face and Phil could finally see his brown eyes. Phil blushed slightly at the blunt statement.

  
“Would you be interested if I was?” Phil took a moment to read the guy’s facial expression and everything seemed okay so he leaned in and whispered “Maybe we could go back to mine and have some fun”

  
He felt the boy shiver slightly, smirk never leaving his face.

  
“Well you could at least take me to dinner first” He joked, smirk quickly dropping and with a sigh the boy turned to face Phil. “ I’m Dan by the way.”

  
“Hello Dan” Phil said almost to experiment the name on his lips. “so about my offer...” he continued

  
“My judgement is telling me to not go home with a stranger just because he is hot, so maybe join me in some more drinks as we wait for my judgement to be long gone?” Phil chuckled at his brutal honesty once more and gladly accepted his invitation.

  
“Let me buy you a drink Dan”

  
“I see you love using my name might as well get it tattooed into your ass” They both laugh at the obvious joke and proceed to order more drinks.

  
○○○

  
When Phil remembered the joke Dan had made his eyes grow wide as he reaches for his butt again feeling the cling film and the slight sting. The ran to the toilet and turned his back to the mirror. He gasped and had the strong urge to kill his drunk self for being such an idiot. He just hoped it wasn’t permanent because having the name Dan in pretty cursive across is right butt cheek wasn’t exactly classy.

  
•••

  
Dan woke up what felt a couple hours later his hangover considerable more mild, he looked over and the guy wasn’t there. Great, now he had to have the awkward ‘morning after’ ‘what’s your name again’ conversation.

He heard sighs and curses coming from what looked like an ensuit bathroom. He desperately got up trying to look for his clothes so the goodbye could be slightly less awkward.   
Dan found his boxers and his shirt and has he was doing up his buttons he hears the guy coming out of the bathroom so he looks up. The boy looked undoubtedly stunning, he had dark, black hair that contrasted perfectly with his light skin and beautiful blue eyes. Dan proudly and mentally high fived himself for scoring such a good looking boy.

  
●●●

  
Dan was everything his parents wanted him to become. He heard the crowed and dropped the idea of acting at 17 and on he went to uni studying law of all subjects. Since he had no idea what he wanted to do with his life one faithful day and a google search of what degrees would give you more money he set himself up for law.

  
After 4 years living in the shitty common housing of university he had found a job at a law firm earning enough to pay his bills. He quickly regretted his decision; after powering through 4 hellish years of boring and uninteresting classes constantly telling himself it would all be worth it when he had a job and earned his own money for real. It wasn’t like that at all. He had to work crazy hours with no fixed days off, and his pay wasn’t great since he was fresh out of education.

  
All of this led Dan to become really stressed and lonely, since he had virtually no time to dedicate to his friends.

Lonely, stressed Netflix with wine nights, turned into lonely, stressed with vodka infused tear nights and eventually he just took it to a bar and started hooking up with strangers and in some way that seemed his only solution.

  
He vaguely remembers a boy approaching him, he remembers how forward the boy was and how much he liked that – straight to the point, much like Dan his intentions for a one night thing were obvious. He remembers having numerous cocktails and shots with the boy and laughing a lot but that is it really. Was his name Phil or something?

  
○○○

  
Phil stepped back into the room once he had taken out his contact lenses and was done freaking out over his newly acquired butt tattoo.

As soon as he did he saw Dan quickly getting dressed in last nights clothes. He pouted. If he’d been a minute longer Dan would’ve left and Phil would have to deal with his butt situation alone.

  
Dan was very obviously staring at his face too, almost enchanted. He wonders how much the boy recalls from last night specially the specifics of the situation in his back side. Had he gone to a nice place? Did he spend a fortune on it? How much were tattoos anyway? Did he go to a really unhygienic place? Oh god he could get aids from needles couldn’t he?!

  
Suddenly his train of thought was interrupted by Dan extending his hand formally.

  
“I’m Dan” he said with some confidence.

  
Phil looked at him dumbfounded, Well obviously he remembered less than him. He sighed and gave in.

  
“I take it you don’t remember much. I’m Phil.”

  
Dan laughed awkwardly and looked down, when he did Phil realised he still wasn’t wearing any underwear of anything at all. He fells the heat rush up his neck and with a squeal he covers himself “sorry” he mumbled.

  
“Well yes,... I better go. I’m sure we had a great night though” Dan just stands there awkwardly pointing at the door.

  
“Well wait, Dan!” Phil rushed before Dan even had a chance to move.

  
“ Yes...?” he raised an eyebrow was he picked up his trousers from the floor.

  
“Well this is kinda awkward but I kinda haveyournametattoedinmybutt” Phil said really quick looking down in embarrassment still trying his best to cover his bits.

  
○○○

  
When Dan heard the words fall out of Phil’s month he remembered the sting the first felt in his butt cheek when he woke up. He felt all colour drain out of his face and he reached for his back side, surely enough he felt a plaster of some kind made with what felt like cling film, he touched it harder and the was a sharp sting once again.  
He looked at Phil who looked like he was about to burst out laughing, surely enough after lingering eye contact, they both burst out laughing.

  
“I can’t believe we got tattoos drunk, on our butts of all places” Dan says, whipping a tear after what if felt like the best laugh he’d had in ages. “wait, wait what is mine of?”

  
The turned around to Phil, lowering his boxers enough so the other boy could see. “Oh my god...” is all Dan hears. “Dan its exactly like mine...” at this point Phil is the one to turn around allowing me to see my own name written in pretty cursive across this strangers butt check “...just it says Phil” Phil concluded looking directly into Dan's eyes.

 

They were both a bit lost for words, not knowing what to do. Despite Dan’s habit of waking up in stranger’s bed, having said stranger’s name permanently tattooed on his body was a different story he felt like he wouldn’t just forget Phil like he did all his other one night stands, not when he looked like he did . But specially NOT when his name was tattooed on Dan.

  
“So...” Phil trailed off “you were going..erm, I mean, yeah that’s all I wanted to tell you”

  
In all the madness Phil had managed to find boxers and a t-shirt.

  
“Yes of course if you want me to go I will, just thought might not be appropriate to just leave while we both have permanent reminders of the night neither of us actually remembers”

  
“No, no! You don’t need to go, I felt like you would want to forget this or whatever. But I guess you’re right... Kinda hard to forget.”

Phil chuckled as he sat on the bed behind Dan and pated next to him so he could do the same. Phil took Dan’s hands into his and said

  
“Well at least let me take you to dinner first”

 


End file.
